Perfect for deciphering your child’s political views.
, April 24, 2013
I was born with a rare disorder that prevents me from having any basic form of parental intuition. As a result, when my infant began crying, I had no way of determining whether it was due to the fact that I hadn’t fed him in the last 12 hours, the fact that he’d been carrying a full diaper around for the past three days (the diaper box SAYS “for 15 lbs,” but don’t believe it!), or if he was simply bothered by our doomed economy as a result of Obama’s socialist agenda.
As soon as I heard about this cry-deciphering monitor, I purchased it immediately. This has been a literal godsend (metaphorically speaking). The guesswork is completely gone. Now, when my baby cries– even if he’s in the same room as me– I pull out the “why cry” and see what it says. Because it has such a wide array of display icons, it can now show me whether the baby is…
– STRESSED because he realizes the unbearable weight of our federal deficit rests on the shoulders of his generation
– SLEEPY because he is so tired of the left-wing wackos making emotional decisions rather than logical ones
– ANNOYED at the liberal media’s incessant need to hid the truth that america is going broke due to unsustainable social programs
– BORED of hearing President Obama’s constant lies and flip-flopping
– HUNGRY for a political leader who will finally represent the people rather than the lobbyists
This has truly been life-changing, not only because I can decipher my child’s cries, but also because it has confirmed that I am doing a proper job of training him to have a proper worldview.
WARNING: I do, however, have two complaints. First off, the Display icon chart is in both English AND Spanish. This is America. LEARN TO SPEAK AMERICAN! My baby doesn’t speak spanish. Why would the translation be in Spanish?
Secondly, this works on babies, but not so well on adults. When ever I try to use it to decipher what my wife is whining about, it seems stuck on the “ANNOYED” indicator, which is obviously not accurate.