I wish he could just be normal and healthy and run around and play with his brothers and speak to me. But that’s not reality. The reality is it’s hard. The reality is I hate it.
I want my kids to be able to understand what they believe, and why. I want them to ask scary questions, and evaluate the answers. I want them to be able to think of truth as something beautiful, even when some truths are ugly. I want them to be able to accept that some truths can’t be known, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still search for them.
My dad once said that when he became a new parent, he discovered a whole new capacity for love, like a new heart that he’d never used before, but had been saved just for this purpose. That’s exactly what it’s like.
I recently ran across a song I wrote when I found out we would be having twins. It’s an incredibly cheesy poem, wherein I fantasize about all the fun adventures I’ll be having with the twins: running around and rough-housing, the projects we’d work on together, the conversation’s we’d have… the fun experiences I’d introduce them to.
A song I wrote about the emotional experience of having a child with severe disabilities, wanting more for my child than he’ll get to experience in this life.
For those not in the know, 29-year-old newlywed Brittany Maynard has brain cancer. In April, she was given six months to live. Rather than drag it out, she has decided to choose the day of her death for herself; namely, Nov 1, 2014. It’s a controversial decision that has a lot of people vocalizing opinions in favor and against her. I decided I might as well join the noise and weigh in with my thoughts, so here they are.
My youngest brother, Tim, turns 18 today. He is the youngest of 8 children, and is officially recognized as a legal adult. Tim was the last child from my childhood, and now he’s legally allowed to smoke, gamble, go to strip clubs, and (gasp) vote! Pretty crazy stuff! Anyway, it got me thinking about becoming…
If you enjoy spending 26 minutes watching a montage of another family’s home videos, then you will love this.
Late one Christmas night, less than two months before his 3rd birthday, I was overcome with emotion and a strong sadness over Hunter’s condition. The feeling was so strong that it brought me to uncontrollable tears, kept me awake, and ultimately lead me to write the following.
When you find out you’re going to have kids, there are certain things you imagine. You imagine your child running, rough-housing, and saying those funny things kids say when they think they understand a concept more than they actually do. When you find out you’re having twins, that picture is multiplied. Not only do you look forward to when you can interact with your child, but you look forward to seeing them grow up together, play together and get in to mischief together.
You don’t really consider that things don’t always work out that way.